My list

Top 10 people/furry things that make me smile on sight: (in no particular order)

1. Leanne - no matter how often I see her, sometimes three times a week, she is always so freakin happy to see me and smiles when I walk in, and so naturally that makes me feel wonderful inside and I smile, too. I can't help but smile when I see her. Plus, she sometimes says I love you first, and I'm not used to that. It's nice!

2. Zoey - She runs around like crazy, curls up in a ball, walks figure 8's around my legs when I'm putting my face on in the morning, sits in my lap while I'm at the computer, spreads out on her back so I can rub her soft belly, has her own unique meow that is more like a squeal, tries eating my pizza crust, sleeps on my chest when I want to turn over, and once in a while will jump out from a doorway as I walk by to wrap her front paws around my leg, take a tiny nibble, and run away like hell...but no matter what she's doing, she makes me smile whenever I see her, because I love her so incredibly much.

3. Cat - I don't get to see her often but when I do it's like we just saw each other last week at the market or something. And she gives my favorite kind of hugs, that really aren't hugs at all I suppose, more like embraces. I feel safe, and loved, appreciated, cared for, thankful for, honored, and completely happy when I'm in her arms. She has a goofy sense of humor, insight/advice that I'd pay good money for, a great talent for making beautiful and delicious breads, and I can comfortably talk to her without any awkward silences...she's just amazing, and she is whatever I need her to be, when I need her to be it, and seemingly the voice in my head. I'm so lucky to have her, so blessed. I smile instantly when I see her because she makes me feel good and I can't help it.

4. Alina - She is Stephanie's daughter. She's adorable, and into everything, and hilarious...spastic, and she'll run up to you and start talking rubbish a mile a minute, having a serious conversation with you, and you have no clue what the heck she's saying. It's pretty cool. She likes you to make farm animal noises when she hands you one of her plastic toys...cows go moo, lions (don't know why those came with her farm set) go raaar......she says HI really enthusiastically when you walk in...thinks she's going with you when you have to go, and sometimes refuses to say bye.....and if you look really good on a certain day, you'll know it when you walk in and she goes "oooo wooooow!" Adorable. I love the way she runs up and hugs my legs when I visit, and how she calls me Aunt Corinne. She doesn't have any aunts so I love that I can be that for her when she knows what that kind of relationship means.

5. Beth - I don't even know what to say. I see her once every DECADE...ok so it used to be once a year, then once every other year...but this time it's been closer to four years. I see her so seldom, and I love her so dearly that when I see her I never know if it will be the last because she is so ill, and when I see her I have so much to say but on sight all I can seem to muster is "hi" before she pulls me into her arms for five years worth of hugs jammed into five minutes.

6. Maria - SO much to say here. She's my mentor, the mother-in-law type of my dreams, a confidant...the one person I feel comfortable playing in front of, and the one person I can sing in front of. I mean really sing, just let go, shed all the curtains, just do my thing. For some reason she is the only person I can do that with, and so no one else has ever heard what I can do, besides myself. She calls me her daughter, tells me she never had one but I'm what she wishes her hypothetical daughter would have been. She tells me to call her mom sometimes and it's kind of awkward when her son is around *my used-to-be-sort-of-still-is crush* She loves to exploit my flute playing and loves finding little duets I can do with her at church. I live for the days we meet to work on music and it's so flattering because she can't get over how little practice I need in comparison to everyone else. I stay with the choir, despite feeling that I can't make a difference, that the choir is hopeless, because Maria tells me she needs me...and when I truly believe that, and realize that I am a leader in the choir, I feel like I am home there. I go to church every week to see her, to hear her. Her singing, the emotion you can hear in her voice when she is singing about Jesus, is so real...it can bring me to my knees. For someone like that, who can sing like that, to tell me how wonderful little ol' me is, makes me feel pretty incredible myself sometimes. She makes me feel good, so she, too, makes me smile on sight.

7. Jim [Lewis] - A bit of an explaination is required here. Jim, in this reference, is Beth's ex husband. No matter how much he hurt me emotionally, directly, and no matter how much he hurt me by hurting Beth, I cannot forget what he was to me. He was probably the first person EVER that I had to talk to. An older person to look up to, go to for advice, someone to confide in, vent to about life as a teenager. I loved him so much and I fell so hard when I had to let that go. But, I have a feeling that if I were to see him again...even though I know that will never happen, by my own choice of know that is bad for me and that I should stay away from what is bad...that should I see him, I wouldn't be able to help but smile. He will forever hold a unique place inside of me. I guess I have to thank him for that.

8. Dorothy - My wonderful aunt. I lived a half hour from them for a year, and every single week she would call me to make sure I was coming to stay with them for the weekend. She wouldn't have it any other way. She gave me wine, mothered me when I was sick, never took no for an answer when she sent me back to school with food, made really good homemade meals, rubbed my back without my asking, and called during the week just to see how I was doing. This, is an aunt by marriage, and so to have such a genuine caring vibe from her is really a blessing. They were my second family up there, and she took extra special care of me, even though I didn't need it. Now, I only get to see them when they come to visit, and when I see her all of those memories of weekends at their house come flooding through me and I feel happy, and grateful, and without realizing it, there's that smile on my face.

9. Mr. Wenzel - My OTHER mentor. Sure it was in me from near birth...Jimbo used to sing to me as a baby...but this man showed me what music can do. Taught me that it is healing, versatile, universal, soothing, empowering, encouraging, reassuring, comforting, weakening...it is everything. He showed me how big it is, and from that time on I've vowed to share that simple knowledge with the world. He taught me all I know about music, and for that I will be forever in his debt, because without it, who knows if I would have a vice. He gave me my forever outlet, my forever passion, my forever comfort and happy-place. I see him mowing down at Millies from time to time and make a point to bring him water. I see him, throw that huge smile on my face, and hug him like it's been ages. He watched me grow up and that's a pretty cool thing.

10. Jennifer - She was my boss when I was temping in the summers between going to college. She was the best boss a person could ask for, and a good friend, too. She also got me hooked on the Relay For Life event in Elkhorn every July. I'm so glad I got involved, and so heavily involved. I play an important couple of roles in the running of the huge event and it makes me feel so wonderful to be such a big part of a wonderful selfless cause, such as the cancer relay. My first year there I went as a tag-along and ended up staying most of the day. That night I sat in the screen tent with her watching relayers walk the track in the dark lit subtlely by luminary bags...she wanted me to tell her what was going on with me, what happened to me, why she hadn't seem my smile for nearly a year. She wanted to know what was so powerful that it could take the Me out of Me. (does that make sense to anyone other than myself?). She was used to the outgoing, funny, hard working, mature, reliable girl she knew before that could light up a room. I wanted to tell her, but I couldn't. I wanted to tell her what happened, what it was that took away my light, but all I could say when I tried to tell her was, you don't want to know. Then she took my hand and held it. I used to think it was weird for adult friends to hold hands until that moment. She held my hand to say "honey it's ok, you'll get back up, you can be you again" and to show me that she really did care and was concerned, but was ok that I couldn't talk about it. Since then, sometimes I'll reach for the hand of a really close friend and it is a symbol of love and cherishing......now I see Jen from time to time at work and it is a break from my hectic day so I drop what I'm doing to stop and look at her, and give her the smile that she loves. And every time, she simply says "I can't tell you how wonderful it is to see you smile again."



These are the top ten, in addition to others, that I thank God for every, EVERY single day.