Yes!

Ice cream for breakfast. Woo to tha hoooo! Doc told me my glands are really really swollen and that mom can't yell at me for eating a lot of ice cream because he encouraged it. Weeee! I.C. for breakfast! Looking forward to feeling better. I feel a little better this morning...yesterday was basically a waiting game for the antibiotics to kick in...I'll still be contagious at work today because I won't have been on the antibiotics for 48 hours yet...so I will just have to be careful. He said "this time tomorrow you will be feeling much better. He was right! It seems to have settled in my throat which feels kinda like someone scraped off the lining in it and it's all scratchy. Uck. Shit! And my sister just called. Guess who has the lovely misfortune of picking her up from school. You guessed it! Maybe I will blog more after work. Bye!

If I could make my nasty nose sound in letters, I'd do it...

Great weekend...Jim & Cat bought pop-up....we took a few Winnebijou runs...grandpa and I saw a coyote on the way home...it's the Brule, so what more is there to say?

I went home last night at 7. I thought I could make it until 8 because I went in at noon and was going to try and get my 8 hours in at least, but I couldn't do it. When you're ill, time slows to half it's normal speed, anyway. There was no way I was making it until 8. Tim gave me a guilt trip. "Don't worry...I had walking pneumonia one time and I left here to go to the doctor and get my meds, then came back here to do a 12-hour shift." I'm like, dude. I don't care about YOU. I am not at all productive like this. When he said all that I knew it'd be pointless to ask if I could go home. Then I threw up my supper and Doreen told me she'd yell at Tim today for me. She also signed the bottom of the note I wrote so he knew it was legit and all that. I have a doctor's appointment at 1:30 but he told me he already has a doctor's note today. He told me he could tell by the way I sounded there's no WAY I'm going to work today. Blah. I feel this heavy weight on my chest if I breath normal, so I'm taking short breaths, and so when I try to drink something it is difficult to not make a mess. I can't breathe through my nose and I'm not accustomed to sipping. I'm not hungry or thirsty but I at least have to stay hydrated. I also know that I need sleep but I've discovered that it's all ten times worse in the horizontal position. I tried the half sitting up thing...no good. I've turned into Rudolf over night and my glands are sooooo swollen. My ears hurt because when you're sick, your senses are magnified. I want to take a shower but my body doesn't want me to stand up for that long. I want to take a bath, but that requires more horizontal stuff. I want to not be SICK but I cursed myself so it's no one else's fault but my own. I took a sip out of Cat's water bottle when she gave me some stuff for my headache...even warned me that it may not be the best choice because she's had her mouth all over it...she's on the downside of the cold/sinus infection and into the coughing stage now. The next morning I had a bit of a sore throat but it seemed to go away as the day progressed. Monday I felt okay to start wit but on the way home kept sneezing, with no tissue. Yesterday I felt like my head was being tightened in a vice and today it's pretty much the same but I feel half dead sort of and the head in the vice feels even tighter, and my head could pop off of my neck anytime now. Yuck. Why I'm typin this out, I couldn't tell ya. Everyone's been sick before, everyone knows what it's like. I'm just complaining because I can and I HATE being home sick because I'm boooored. TV sucks...movies aren't appealing to me...cross stitch requires thinking...meh. Where's that shotgun? (just kiddin...don't worry)

You better believe it's ON Pippittons!

Neener neener we're gonna beat you there! Grandpa's an early riser, I can be with the right motivation. Believe me, this is more than enough motivation to get my ass outta bed way too early. Oo oo oo! I'm bringin bubbles and a cool flat giant frisbee thing, and a volleyball...did I mention we're gonna beat you up there?! It's half the fun of the Memorial Day Brule trip...the race to site 15. Might as well take your time up there because we're going to beat you anyhow, no need to rush it, enjoy the sights. Oh and not to mention, I have a freakin 10-gallon BLATTER baby.

Can't wait to see you guys up there. I'm really looking forward to it. Getting through work tomorrow is going to be torturous. Ugh.

Tim was totally on my ass until he left today. Doreen and Dani were mad at him or it and told him to lay off...until he started on them, too. It's not our fault his life sucks and his kid hates him. He's a moron to begin with,...then finally wins the custody battle and spoils James to death so he developes attachments/dependencies on material things. This kid has a PS3 and an XBox 360...a two-thousand dollar XSP or whatever Dell Laptop...a large screen tv, gameboy...kids got everything and expects now that daddy will always give it to him. Anyway back to subject...moron would rather have me drive fast like a maniac on the forklift, than take my time to really learn it and get the hang of it and feel comfortable on it. "It took you too long to unload that truck." Ya well you're lazy ass couldn't be bothered to get out of his adjustable rolly chair in his air conditioned office to do it, so the girl just learning the forklift had to do it...I unloaded 36 baskets in less than 15 minutes. That is amazing for anyone, let alone someone who's driven a forklift a whole, three times. Give me a fuckin break. Then he was mad cuz I started packaging seals last night because there were only like, five or so orders on the clipboard and they were long and I wasn't about to start something I couldn't finish, and I was tired of picking orders...he yelled at me sayin I had no reason to package seals and then had Doreen make sure I packaged orders instead of packaged seals tonight after orders were all picked...doesn't make sense. If I package all the orders tonight, Pat, the day packer, with have nothing to do all day. If I package seals, you might be able to see over the tower that they are. Damn. Not to mention, while packaging, the paper roll ran out in the feeder and I had to load a new roll. Fine and dandy...cept the fucker jammed on me and wouldn't reverse itself out so I had to hit the emergency stop and take a fuckin knife to it...cut my hand up all to hell and fell off the fuckin stool...took me half an hour to get the shit out and get it goin again. That time could have been better spent packaging seals that have built up for over two weeks because Tim's been making Mark help Armando with the crating instead of doing his own job of putting stock away (part of which includes packaging seals). So...they pile up, box after box, on top of the bookcase...can't see over it...whenever you have a part in one of the boxes that you need for an order, it always seems to be on the bottom of the pile so you have to move fifteen heavy ass boxes to get to your part that you may need a whole TWO PIECES of. Tim sits on his ass delegating all day. Broke the fuckin stapler...the spring got too stretched out and now he wants to dock MY paycheck because we had to open our last stapler, to replace it...oh and somehow it's MY fault we had three trucks backed up in the parking lot waiting for a dock to open up, so our work truck was blocked in and I couldn't go to hobbs...I'll be fuckin DAMNED if you think I'm taking my care to hobbs without reimbursment. Fuckers. Go sit on a fuckin cactus and wiggle around a bit, bounce up and down on it...so I can point and say you got somethin stuck up your ass. Don't take it out on me and the other girls that you hate your life, while all of ours would be much better if we didn't have to fuckin deal with your lazy bullshit every day. Or get yourself a girlfriend or somethin. Geez.

K I'm done now. Time for bed now that I have finished my beer. Mmm it was good. Wait. Shhh. What beer?

Night everyone. Cat...I'll see you the day after tomorrow when we're chillin, all set up, waitin for you slow pokes to come rollin with yer new toy. HAHA

Pelo pelo PELO

I did get my hair cut on Friday and I like it :D I'm not going to write about what it looks like because I want Cat to have to come to the Brule to see it for herself. Neener neener!

I stocked up on redbull last night and I found 32-oz. bottles of Powerade for 78 cents each. I bought four...I have a really tiny fridge. I'm now the proud owner of Stomp the Yard and am nibblin on some Orange Tic-Tacs. Mmmmm. Used to get them all the time as a kid. They are bigger now and with more in a container thing...perfect for my mouth that has grown since I last had them. :) I got a giant cloth frisbee rimmed with wire I assume, for the Brule...a big flashlight for $3.50...(last year I brought my heavyduty light from Barker and it took nearly a year to get around to putting it back into my car, which was it's entire purpose to begin with)...I've been without light in my bedroom for nearly a week, so I bought some GE Energy Smart light bulbs...spirally lookin things, kinda cool. I got 40 watts because it says on the package that a ten watt normal bulb is equal to a 40 watt energy smart bulb....so I was bein safe. I also got a giant thing of bubbles...it's really cool lookin and has a clip on it that says it's the same bubbles used by the Greatest Bubble Blower in the world...couldn't tell ya who it is but he's got some big bubbles on the picture! I'm a little worried about how my fish will get on at the Brule. We all know Mat could care less and won't feed them for me. He'll be partying at the house all weekend anyway. He does it enough in the basement it is, let alone when they're NOT here....he woke me up this morning just to tell me that he drank a whole bottle of Apple Smirnoff all by himeslf. Dumbass. And they think I'M drinker/party animal? Please. Open your eyes. He walked in last night with a girl on his arm (another one we hadn't met before, just like every other night he brings a girl over), and she's carrying the huge-ass smirnoff bottle...they don't care. They don't say a word. They saw it, but didn't say a word. They found a beer bottle in my room and I got reamed a new one...apparently I need to switch to flavored Vodka?! He also will stay up really really late with the tv on really loud in the basement...I was up to pee at 2am and he was still loud and crazy down there...yet he gets up early every day to go to work. What a dumbass. You'd be amazed at the double standards in this house. Thats not even scratching the surface.

Today is Judy Weisheit's memoral. It's a giant picnic. She didn't want a funeral, she wanted a celebration of her life in the form of a happy get-together so we are going to that today, and Mat get's to get out of it because he was up late last night and didn't feel like getting up to get ready for it. Fuckin 'tard. Where in this picture did IIII become the problem child? Couldn't tell ya. That chick is still down there, too. They're still sleeping and it's nearly noon-thirty!

Last night I got off at 8 because I went in early for the quarterly meeting. I told Steph so she asked me to come to a bonfire with her in Pell Lake. As much as I wanted to drink last night, I decided not to go because Rachel Devlin was going...someone we went to school with. This is a girl who sold her Riddelin(sp?) so she wouldn't have to take it...blah blah blah...girl's got issues. I decided not to go. I got a text from Stephanie this morning telling me I should have gone with them last night because she got arrested. I told her I'm sorry but I'm GLAD I didn't go. Being arrested is not on my list of things to do. Then I asked what happened and she didn't answer so I know she's mad at me for not wanting to go but I could care less. She needs to party less and mother more. She's a really great mother to her kids, but she takes advantage of her parents' willingness to watch them any ol' time, usually over night. She works PART TIME, has a 600/per month apartment (as of a couple weeks ago), and expects to be able to afford her car, her kids, her rent, her insurance...I'm sorry but that is just crazy. I live at home, with NO kids, and I'm more mature than she seems to be. She doesn't understand how it's going to affect her kids now, and in the long run. "You kids stay here, don't let strangers in, mommy is going to the bar for a drinky drinkky and I'll be back tomorrow." I'm so scared for those kids. She doesn't deserve child support. She's gonna spend it on gas for her partying every weekend and a healthy alcohol cabinet...those kids aren't going to benefit from it at all.

This ends my rant, I'm ticked off now. I really should get ready for the memorial. I hate that it's for Judy but all I can think about today is Beth...

It broke me and let me breathe at the same time

Long story short, had a blow out with dad yesterday...they took off to go into town, I hopped in the shower, called grandma, threw some clothes in a laundry basket, some toothpaste, some facial stuff, and walked out leaving a note saying I'd be gone for a few days. I had more than enough time to think and decide I'm not going back. I can thank Jennifer for that. Jennifer as in my old boss from work. She's been there for me through EVERYthing and I went into her office telling her what's goin on, hoping to come out of there with less confusion and undecided conclusions. I did what I had to do and it was bound to happen eventually. I had been acting the way they wanted me to act, to make things more peaceful for me while I was at home. I should have never done that to begin with as I told myself once upon a time that I would never compromise myself to give someone else a better picture or whatever. The blow out was all I wanted to deal with and I was out like that. I told mom I will be back and forth for a while just taking more and more of my things. I am going to get a small storage unit to keep my things in that I don't need right now, until I get my own place. At the moment I am staying with Grandma Krause and Uncle Kerry and his kids. I will probably stay here for a couple of weeks and then stay with Stephanie for a little while. That will be good for both of us. She will need a little help with rent at first until she can get a second job, and I need a place to stay, with someone who will let me do my thing and have a good time with each other in the process. I know a lot of people will think I am being foolish and impulsive and irresponsible, but I can't tell you the last time I felt so good. I don't have my own space right now, but if I go back home to stay there again, I won't leave for a long time and I can't do that. I have to take this opportunity to let go and get on my own feet again and take care of myself again. I can do that better now than I could at home and I can truly say that I am happy. For the first time in nearly seven years, I am truly, deeply happy about my life. I have a full time job, a car that will do until I really can't stand it anymore, and insurance in the works...I have people who love me a new set of wings to fly with the wind. I'm peaceful, I'm breathing again (which is the single most important thing I have really needed for so long), and I'm so so happy. So please don't judge, and don't criticize, or call me irresponsible and foolish, or that I'm not acting adult. I very much am. I made the decision I should have made a long time ago and it took me walking out to see it clearly. Bobby may be comin over later this week one day after work to sit in Uncle Kerry's hot tub with me, and I just got a new suit today...I finally FINALLY found the black top I've pictured, and it fits me (those who know my issues on the top half are probably understanding why it's hard for me to find tops that fit, they seem to all be made for mosquito bites)...and this weekend Bobby is having another bonfire and I'm the first to be invited. It will be fun! I've been free for just over one full day and I already have a social life again! I'm reenergized and eager and ready for whatever shit God chucks at me. I've survived damn near everything by now...and if I haven't, I know that I can. So bring it on. I'm the happiest girl in the world.

Blame it on the rainbow

I've been crabby all week (until yesterday). For a few months I had been in close contact with my very good friend in Madison and in these past two weeks I've found that I have run out of things to say. I want to call her just to hear about her day but I don't really have a reason for calling, and unreasoned calls are always the awkward ones. You sit there, sighing and saying "so..." a lot, waiting for some words to float into your ear from the other end of the line. So, I haven't called. Since I got hired, I don't have anything to talk about anymore and that makes me very boring. All I have to talk about is the crazy OT I put in this week at work, which is more than just a tad on the redundant side. So I'm crabby because I want to keep connecting with her and sending messages to each other but I'm uninspired. I have no material to speak of. I could talk about state bowling...but what is there to say? I drank, I bowled, I drank some more, ate some food, inhaled a couple jello shots...that's about it.

Yesterday my mood turned around. It took one blink and I saw myself staring at a rainbow instead of at the road, on my way to work. Tim told me to go to Hobbs, I said, "ok!" Tim told me to go pack, I said, "sure thing boss-maaaaaan." Tim told me to stay until the late UPS truck came and I said, "sweet." Yesterday flew by. Today wasn't too horrible either. I picked, I packed, I crated, I labeled pumps, I drove to UPS in J-town (and on the way back nearly couldn't keep from stopping in downtown Delavan for the Cinco de Mayo fest), got back and switched out the truck at Hobbs, loaded up the BAX truck, the Tax Air truck, and two Fed Ex pups...then I went home. I was planning on helping mom mow but now that I am sitting down I am allowing the pain of the day to set in and I suddenly feel really really old. My back hurts (in Katie's voice), and myyyyy feet hurt, and myyyyy stomach's grumbling, and myyyyy neck hurts. I also pulled out clumps of hair by the handful after work today. That was interesting. That normally only happens to me in the shower. Which, isn't really normal at all. I am supposed to have my thyroid checked out but I'm putting it off because I don't feel like being told I have the same disease as my mother. I'm suddenly crabby again. :(

Aside from that I keep trying to call Stephanie, and something is wrong with her phone. It gives me the disconnected beeping tone...but I know her phone isn't because I just talked to her yesterday on her cell. I wanted to go help her move in today and I wanted her to go to the Cinco de Mayo fest for supper tonight. They are having bands play later but I'm not sure if I'm interested because I'm sure it will stay true to the theme of the day and be mexican music (which makes me livid). She also told me a week ago she'd go to Spiderman 3 with me tonight in Madison at the IMAX but I have no way of getting ahold of her.

I am le tired. I think I'll have a nap.